Bad Mommy

Babykins gave me a huge scare today, which not only added a few gray hairs to my head, but got me thinking about the "Bad Mommy" moments I've had in the last 8 months.  If you've recently had a baby, or are thinking about having one soon, read on and know that you will eventually do something stupid, and you're not alone.

Three weeks after moving to Hawaii, we moved into our apartment.  One of the great draws for the building is its security.  Along with friendly security staff, everyone must use a key card to enter the building and work the elevators.

Our first week there, I took Babykins on a walk, double checking as I left that I had both my apartment key and my security card.  We took a stroll through the local mall, then went back to the building, heading for the disability entrance on the ground floor.

For some unknown reason, the disability entrance has the heaviest gate ever.  I swiped my key card, pried open the gate, shoved through the stroller containing Babykins, and felt the gate pull out of my hand.  Just as it slammed shut, I saw with horror that both my key card and cell phone were inside the building with Babykins, while I was locked outside on the sidewalk.

I was panicked.  There were no security guards around, and the only other way to get into the building was through the open lobby one floor up.  I couldn't leave Babykins alone that long, but I couldn't just stand there hoping someone would happen to go through that entrance at 10 AM on a work day.

Luckily, I'd noticed the grounds crew working a few feet down the sidewalk, and after explaining the situation in very poor Spanish, starting to cry, and finally dragging one man with me and pointing to my infant on the wrong side of the gate, a worker took pity on me and used his security card to open the gate and reunite hyperventilating me with a smiling and completely un-fazed Babykins.

It has by far been my worst "Bad Mommy" moment to date.

In a side note, I finally noticed about a month later that right next to the gate is a buzzer that calls the security office.  To quote Homer Simpson, "Doh!"

Have a "Bad Mommy" moment of your own?  Make me and every other new mom feel better.  Share it in the comments section (but nothing that would require us to contact 1-800-4ACHILD, please).

yteixnA noitarapeS

Being in Pennsylvania surrounded by family has given me the opportunity to do things I normally can't do.  I've gone to lunch with friends, gone out with my sisters, taken showers that didn't revolve around Babykins' nap schedule, and today Hubbykins and I are going to the movies.

These activities have left Babykins in the loving care of family for up to 2 hours at a time.  My aunts are always happy to remind me of the time they babysat me as a 2-year-old and I cried for 2 straight hours.  This is definitely not Babykins' problem.  She loves playing with everyone and hardly notices that I'm gone.

The problem is that Babykins has reverse separation anxiety.  In the living room with grandparents and aunts, she plays, she giggles, she crawls, she coos.  Not a tear in sight.  The moment I walk in the room, her bottom lip quivers, her eyes scrunch up, and the crying begins. 

I'm not sure why the reverse separation anxiety hits.  Is she punishing me for leaving?  Is she sad that the fun time is over?  Or is she just reminding me that she is firmly in charge.  If that's the case, she can stop crying...I'm sure I won't forget anytime soon who wears the diapers in this family :)

Dear Santa

Dear Santa,

Thank you so much for my first Christmas.  I had a great time!  First, I got to wake everyone up early.  Then mommy and daddy let me crawl all the way to the tree and pull out the paper that was hiding under it!  Did you know there were toys inside that paper?

I love playing with all of my new toys.  My shakers make lots of noise, and my lap top is just like daddy's!  I don't know how you knew just what to get me.  Please give your elves a big, drooly kiss for me.

Later that day (after mommy made me take a nap - boo!) lots of new adoring subjects came over to tell me how cute I am.  I graced them all with a smile, and even let some of them pick me up!  I bet Queen Elizabeth never lets her subjects pick her up.

That night, silly mommy and daddy tried to put me down for a full night's sleep.  I was very tired, but I was just too excited from the day.  I got up lots during the night to remind them about all the fun we had!

I heard about something called Christmas in July.  Could you send me a brochure?  I want to be ready.
Love,
Babykins

P.S.  Wasn't I the cutest baby ever in my fuzzy "Baby's First Christmas" jammies?  I'll wear them again next week in case you want to come back and leave more presents.

Santa!!!

Last weekend, we joined the age-old tradition of taking small children to sit on an old man's lap.  Despite the freezing weather, we bundled up Babykins and took her to meet Santa (we had the opportunity to visit Santa in Honolulu, but it just didn't seem authentic - plus, it's slightly odd that Hawaiian Santa wears board shorts and has his jacket open).

Dressed in her Nittany Lion snow suit, Babykins was the cutest baby in line.  We popped her on Santa's lap, where she grabbed his hand and told him all her Christmas wishes.  Ok.  She might not have talked, but she did grab his hand and pose while the official photographer, Auntie MO, Daddykins, and Grandpa all snapped away.

After a minute, we saw the little chin start to quiver and the eyes scrunching up in preparation for a good cry, so we scooped up Babykins and were on our way.  The entire experience only lasted a few minutes, but it was a magical start to the Christmas holiday.

Tonight we're preparing to place out milk and cookies for Santa and carrots for his reindeer.  Babykins may not understand the significance, but Mommykins is sure looking forward to the snack.

Wood Floor Wasteland

We have arrived safely in the frozen tundra that is Pennsylvania and snuggled down in my parents' home with no intention of leaving the heated house. While Hubbykins and I have overindulged in Christmas cookies, Babykins has had to face down the Wood Floor Wasteland.

My parents have a beautiful, new wood floor in their living room, with an area rug in the middle.  While it's gorgeous to look at (and fun for me to slide across in my socks), it posed a serious problem for Babykins when we arrived.  Not only is Babykins new to crawling, she has only ever experienced crawling on carpets, or on tile with bare knees.  So when her toy rolled off the area rug onto the wood floor, she didn't think twice about chasing after it.  Seconds later, she had wiped out, her pants-covered knees skidding across the wood.

This didn't deter our intrepid crawler, who doubled her efforts...and promptly slid backwards.  Unworried, she quickly decided she didn't really like that toy anyway, and turned her attention to other toys that were safely lying on the rug.  This quickly led to the Wood Floor Wasteland, where once beloved toys slowly languished outside the reach of Babykins.

This contentment with playing on the rug quickly ended, however, when the Christmas tree lights went on that night.  If ever there was something that would motivate Babykins to brave the Wood Floor Wasteland, it's the sparkle of a hundred lights and ornaments just waiting to be pulled off the tree.

We watched her square her shoulders, stare down the tree, and slowly move a knee onto the wood.  It took a few tries, but by dinnertime, Babykins had learned how to anchor herself with her hands while sliding her knees forward.  By bedtime, she was able to quickly and stealthily propel herself from the rug to the tree, little hand outstretched to wreak havoc on the lower branches.

Babykins still prefers the ease and safety of the area rug, but it's no longer surrounded by an effective wood moat, and breakables in the house are no longer safe.  She may not have brought her Adventurer Vest with her to Pennsylvania, but Babykins is still conquering all in her path.

Baby Genius

Babykins is obsessed with all things that belong to mommy and daddy - especially electronics. She'll move heaven and earth to get her hands on our laptops, and no remote is safe. In an attempt to watch an entire show without the channel suddenly changing on us, Hubbykins finally started just taking the batteries out of our remotes and letting Babykins play with them.

Auntie MO saw this on her trip here and sent Babykins a fabulous gift - a Sesame Street remote control. It's very realistic, with a number pad, volume control, and fast-forward/rewind buttons. We waited to give it to Babykins until the TV was on and she made a grab for one of our remotes. We were hoping the re-direction would cause her to fall madly in love with her new, personal remote.

And she does love it. But the other day, I watched her mental gears turn and realized we have a baby genius on our hands.

I had a show on, and Babykins was sitting on my lap playing with her remote. I watched her push a button, then look at the TV. Nothing happened. She looked down at her remote, pushed another button, and looked expectantly back at the TV. Again, nothing happened. She tried one more time, this time banging her little hand across as many buttons as possible. She looked back at the TV. When she saw that once again, nothing had happened, she threw down her remote and made a bee line for the real remote.

I hadn't expected her to figure this out, and she'd captured the TV remote and pushed every button before I was able to catch up. That's OK. I wanted to watch Elmo's World, anyway.

Pros and Cons

In the last 2 days, Babykins has gone from timid crawler to fearless explorer. Yesterday morning I sat her down in the hallway for a minute, and got back just in time to see her reaching her little finger toward the electrical outlet.

Which leads me to the major con of a crawling baby - baby proofing (and really, who needs proof that there's a baby in the house, anyway? If you need proof, just look at the insane pile of toys littered across our living room). After the outlet scare, Babykins and I made a trip to the store and spent the afternoon turning our apartment into an invincible fortress. The problem is that Babykins isn't the only one who can no longer open our kitchen cabinets. All of the pots and pans I used to cook last night are still sitting on the counter because it's so darn hard to open the cabinet, I've decided to wait and see if I can just re-use them for cooking tonight.

The positive, though, is that I'm learning much more about Babykins' personality. Before, I would guess which toy Babykins wanted to play with and put it in front of her. She would occasionally fuss for something different, but for the most part, she played where we placed with the toys we gave her until we changed things up.

Now when Babykins gets tired of a toy or her current location, she looks around the room, zeroes in on something interesting, and crawls over to examine it. It's fascinating to watch her decision process and see what she chooses to play with. I never would have guessed that the thing that would most grab her attention this morning would be her car seat.

I'm not at all surprised, though, that 9 times out of 10, the thing she finds most interesting is the one thing I didn't want her to play with. Electronics, beware! Babykins is coming your way!

Crawling!!!

For over a month now, Babykins has desperately wanted to crawl.  She could get on her hands and knees and rock back and forth.  She could even commando crawl for a few inches.  Most exciting, she could crawl backwards a fair distance.  Crawling forward, however, remained an elusive target.

All of that changed yesterday.  My old tempting trick of building a block tower for Babykins to knock down had ceased to serve as motivation (instead of trying to reach it, Babykins would just lay her head on the ground and look at me with big, sad blue eyes).  Instead, I pulled out a new toy sent by Auntie MO - the Move and Crawl Ball.  This ball, when you push the buttons, plays music, flashes lights, and rolls away from you.  If you lose interest and stop chasing it, after awhile it plays more music to re-capture your attention. 

I placed in on the floor about a foot in front of Babykins, and after her initial shock that it could play music without her help, she decided to go after it.  She got on her hands and knees, rocked back and forth, gave that ball a hard stare, and moved her knee forward!  After which, she promptly collapsed on her belly.

Never fear.  Babykins, our intrepid adventurer, continued to chase that ball, and by the evening she was crawling a foot at a time in an effort to capture it.  It was an exciting development, and one that Hubbykins captured with copious pictures. 

We're heading to Pennsylvania for Christmas this week, and all I can say is, "Look out Christmas Tree!  Here comes Babykins!"

Add That to the List of Bad Ideas

Being a mommy is a constant learning experience.  Through trial and error, I've discovered some wonderful activities to do with Babykins.  This weekend, however, I discovered an activity that will be added to my "List of Bad Ideas."

Last week, I got it in my head to do a craft project with Babykins.  Note to readers: No matter how simple the idea sounds, doing a craft project with an 8-month-old is a baaaaad idea.  But I didn't know that at the time, so Babykins and I took a trip to Walmart and stocked up on all of the supplies we'd need.

I won't go into details about the project, because we're using it for something secret at the moment, but by this morning I'd spent 2 hours armed with scissors and a glue stick, and Hubbykins, Babykins, and I were all covered in red ink.  Plus, as Hubbykins noticed, the ink looked remarkably like blood, so I had to do an extra good job cleaning up Babykins before we could venture out in public.

And after all that, we're only half-way done.  Tomorrow we're going to brave the blue ink, complete the project, and take a sacred vow to never, ever again do a craft project with an infant.

The Saga Continues...

After discovering that Babykins doesn't like sleeping in her "cage," Hubbykins and I baby-proofed her room and moved her mattress to the floor.  This was fantastic.  Babykins went right to sleep the next night.  About an hour after bedtime, though, she rolled off the mattress.  No big deal - it's only an inch thick.  We put her back on the mattress, and she immediately passed out.

By the fourth time she rolled off the mattress that night, I was exhausted.  I never knew there were so many ways to fall out of bed.  There's the scootch to the bottom and end up sitting on the floor at the foot of the mattress method.  There's the head hanging off the side approach.  There's the sleeping with head on mattress while kneeling on the floor position.  And, of course, the ever popular getting disoriented and crawling off the side.

So last night, Hubbykins and I decided to try having Babykins just sleep on the floor.  Not only would she be out of the cage, but, as the popular saying goes, "Babies can't fall off the floor."  While having your baby sleep on the floor may sound a little tough, I think we did a lovely job setting up a bed for her.  We tucked the edges of the blanket under the dresser and bed so that she couldn't get tangled, then crossed our fingers and hoped for the best.

Aside from just looking pretty, this bed had a number of deluxe features to make it especially Babykins friendly.  Notice the dresser drawer, taped shut to keep Babykins from pulling it open in the night (I swear, we did try to just remove the handle, but it's not as easy as it seems).

Also take note of the multiple pacifiers, in an attempt to have one always within Babykins' reach.

We also left a few non-chokeable toys nearby in the hope that if Babykins woke up during the night, she might quietly entertain herself (yes, we're slightly delusional).

Finally, we put up a barricade to keep Babykins from engaging in her favorite activity - rolling under the bed.

It didn't really work, of course.  Babykins still woke up multiple times during the night, crying for her pacifier, wanting her back rubbed, and needing to eat.  But not once did she fall off the mattress.

Footloose Female Lead Just Cast...

And "Ariel" will now be played by Babykins!  This exciting announcement came just this morning after producers of the teen dance movie saw Babykins shakin' her diaper to the tune of "Pop Goes the Weasel."  Producers were especially taken with Babykins' unique style of dancing...the jerky head bob, swiveling hips, and bouncing knees all combine to dramatically represent the spirit of a small town preacher's daughter with dreams of breaking free.

When asked how she developed this new dance style, Babykins humbly replied that she was just "shakin' what her mama gave her."

With the movie set to release next year, Babykins has begun a rigorous practice schedule, often waking up at 6:30 AM to groove for an hour before breakfast, and practicing late into the night, long after her coaches have encouraged her to break for the evening.  With this kind of dedication, we can expect to see great things from this rising star.

Who Loves the Zoo? We Do! We Do!

Babykins took her first trip to the zoo on Sunday.  The Honolulu Zoo is fairly small, but so is Babykins, so it worked out perfectly.  We were there for approximately two hours and saw about a quarter of the zoo.

Babykins, intrepid in her little pink "Adventurer Vest," had a wonderful time shaking her fists at the elephants, talking to the tiger, and kicking her legs at the reptiles.  The real treat, though, came when we reached the Keiki Zoo (Hawaii's version of the petting zoo).

After a loooong look at the fish, Babykins worked up her courage and petted a goat.  Luckily, the goat didn't try to pet her back.  By this time, the excitement and heat had done their work, and Babykins was ready for her afternoon nap.  All in all a very successful trip, and one we're looking forward to doing again.  Next time we may even make it half way through.

Babykins shows the fish her Adventurer Vest

Babykins' Big Night Out

This weekend, instead of visions of Sugar Plum Fairies, Babykins had visions of Christmas trees, marching bands,and Santa dancing through her head.  Saturday night we attended the Honolulu City Lights tree lighting and electric parade.

We arrived at 5:30 to secure our spot, and spent the next hour chatting with Hubbykins' co-workers.  Babykins was very patient with all of the grown up chit chat, using the time to charm everyone around us.  At 6:30, they lit the tree, a 55 foot Norfolk Pine (personally, I'd been hoping for a palm tree, but Honolulu decided to go the more traditional route).  The changing lights and sparkling ornaments kept Babykins captivated for the 5 minutes until the parade came by.

I had been a little worried that Babykins would begin to cry when the first marching band came through.  The last time she saw a parade, it was the Memorial Day parade in Qtown, and I quickly had to take her inside because of the noise.  This time, though, our big, bad 7-monther actually started crying when the band left.  She loved every minute of the parade, and watched with rapt attention, eyes and mouth both wide open, for the entire hour.

 By this time, it was 7:45, and Hubbykins and I decided to brave a little baby wrath by stopping at the small carnival where they had food booths, keiki (children's) rides, and a Christmas concert.  True to form, Babykins was an angel, chomping away contentedly on her Cheerios, listening to the music, and using Hubbykins and I as jungle gyms while we had our dinner.

As soon as we finished dinner we hurried Babykins home, finally popping her in to bed at 9:15, more than an hour past bed time.  She woke up every 45 minutes throughout the night, but really, who can blame her?  Who has time to sleep when there are so many fabulous new sights and sounds to think about?

Honolulu City Christmas Tree

Babykins' Bedtime Diary

7:15 - Used to be bedtime.  Have trained parents that this is bad bedtime.  In highchair eating Cheerios.
8:15 - Get ready for bed.  Fall asleep in mama's arms while eating.
8:30 - Something's wrong!  Open eyes.  Mama's putting me down in cage thing.  Cry.
8:40 - Have been turned, rolled, patted, and rubbed.  Still in cage thing.  Cry more.
8:45 - Parents finally get it.  Am removed from cage.
9:00 - Crying was invigorating.  Playing in living room.
9:15 - Ready for bed, again.  Fall asleep in mama's arms while eating.
9:30 - Parents not as dumb as they seem.  Have moved mattress out of cage, onto floor.
11:30 - Forget there's no cage.  Roll off mattress onto floor.  Cry.
12:30 - Try to suck pacifier.  Where is pacifier?!  Cry.
2:30 - Sleeping is hard work.  Hungry.  Cry.  Eat.
4:30 - Pacifier gone again.  Know how to put it back in.  Too tired.  Cry.
5:30 - Roll onto tummy.  Forget there's no cage.  Sleep with legs on floor, head on mattress.  Is this what it feels like to have a pillow?
6:30 - Feeling refreshed.  Wake up, parents!  Time to play!

Training: 1, Sleep: 0

Awhile ago, we discovered that Babykins likes to sleep on her side.  Roll her on her side when she wakes up at night, and you're guaranteed almost instant sleep.  With her new found proficiency at rolling, however, she has started to flip from her back or side onto her tummy.

For most babies, this would be a dream come true.  After months of being placed on the back to sleep (Back is Best!), having the ability to switch to tummy sleeping is a great change.  And Babykins desperately wants to sleep on her tummy.  The problem is that she's too well trained.

We spent months teaching her that tummy time means raising your head, pushing up on your arms, and trying to move.  So when Babykins rolls onto her tummy at night, despite being exhausted, she raises her head, pushes up on her arms, crawls backwards until she's stuck in a corner of her crib, and begins to cry.  It's one of the saddest things I've seen.

Especially since, unlike other babies, Babykins seems unable to figure out how to put her head down.  Which meant that I spent much of last night trying to re-train Babykins in the art of lowering her head to the mattress and turning it to the side.  She finally got the hang of head lowering, but the turning part remains elusive.  Thus, Hubbykins and I spent the night sleeping in her room so that I could check every couple hours that she was still breathing despite having her face smashed directly down in the mattress.

Oh, baby raising book, why don't you cover the topic, "What to do when your child won't turn her head"?

If Only, If Only...

As ruling princess of our house, Babykins has come to think that all things should work exactly as she wants.  Which is why she's very confused about why some of her greatest dreams just won't come true.  For example, two nights ago Babykins was fussing in her crib.  I went in to check on what was wrong and found her with one pacifier in her mouth and one in her hand.  She was trying valiantly to get the second pacifier in her mouth, as well, but only succeeded in repeatedly banging it against the one she was already sucking on.  I took pity and removed the pacifier from her hand, at which point she quickly clamped both hands over the one in her mouth.

Her other big wish is to find a way to simultaneously nurse and suck her thumb.  No matter how many times she tries, though, all she succeeds in doing is dribbling milk out the side of her mouth.  Not only is she not accomplishing her goal, she's losing part of her dinner, as well :( 

Luckily, Babykins can take solace in the fact that she's very close to achieving another big milestone...she's just seconds away from crawling!  Keep dreaming big, Babykins.  You're on your way!

Welcome Back!

We have returned from our trip to Australia, and Babykins officially has stamps in her passport.  It was a great trip, and Babykins once again reminded us why she's the best baby in the world.  Not only are we proud of the things she did - smiled and cooed at friends and family, napped like a champ, ate her first bites of chicken, and behaved beautifully while being babysat - we're also proud of the things she didn't do.

First and foremost, unlike all of the other babies around us on the plane ride home, Babykins did not throw up.  After having toddlers in the rows directly in front and behind us do some serious throwing up, I've never been so proud of Babykins ability to keep her food in her tummy.  She also avoided public meltdowns and held off on developing stranger anxiety and crawling abilities (two milestones that often pop up around this age) while traveling in another country and on small, enclosed planes.

Thank you for a fabulous trip, Babykins!  You were brave, well-behaved, and (as one soon-to-be father put it) a good advertisement for having kids.  As a reward, we're giving you 17 days of R&R before we test you one more time on the flight to Pennsylvania.

If the Shoe Fits...

Or, more accurately, if the shoe doesn't fit.  Once again, Babykins has grown out of a set of clothes.  She's on the small side, so despite being a big, bad seven-monther, Babykins has been able to keep wearing her 3-6 month clothing.  Recently, however, Hubbykins and I have started to notice that her clothes are getting a bit tight.

Which means that for the third time in her 7 months, I find myself folding up a set of tiny clothes and putting them away.  Although it gets easier each time, I still find myself slightly sad that another phase of Babykins' babyhood is over.  She'll never again wear the cute red and white polka dot dress or the adorable jammies that I thought made her look like a sailor (and everyone else thought made her look like a convict).

On the plus side, I now get to pull out the next set of clothing, all fresh and new, and ready to adorn the cutest baby on the block.  Goodbye 6 month clothing, hello 9 monthers.

And a very Happy Thanksgiving to family and friends!  Gobble gobble!

Gray Hairs and Wrinkles

Motherhood, like the presidency, ages you.  Before Babykins was born, I always made sure to take my ID with me when I went to a bar or the liquor store.  While it was a (very big) stretch to think I wasn't 21, I at least looked like I could be in the range they should card.  Between sleepless nights and constant worry, though, it would now be no surprise that I'm rounding on 30.

Over the last couple weeks, Babykins has become increasingly mobile, quickly adding to the aging process.  She rolls, she bottom scoots, she crawls backwards.  She can't yet get anywhere fast, but she's deteremined.

Case in point...Yesterday Babykins was exhausted, but desperately fighting nap time.  I put her down on her bed (we're using a mattress on the floor next to our bed here in Australia) with her pacifier and told her I'd be back to check on her in a few minutes.  Five minutes later I open the door, and her bed is empty.

Within moments, I've had a heart attack, called her name, yelled for Hubbykins, and figured out where she is.  I bent down, pulled up the quilt on our bed, and there she is, on her tummy, pushed up on her arms with her head held high, pride in her eyes and a big smile on her face.  She had managed to roll herself off her mattress and all the way under the bed.

Hubbykins extraced her while I finished hyperventilating and grew a few more gray hairs.  A wonderful adventure for Babykins, and a warning to us that Babykins is on the move!

She Comes from a Land Down Under

Our little Babykins is Australmerican - half Australian, half American.  After 7 months of living in the U.S., we have taken her on her first trip to Australia.  On Friday we packed up our gear (all 3 of us packing into just 2 carry-ons and 2 personal items, thanks very much) and boarded Hawaiian Airlines for a 10 hour flight.

Here I have to admit...Babykins was by far the best baby on the plane!  She had a minor melt down toward the end of the flight, but after 10 straight hours stuffed into small seats and breathing recycled air, I was about ready to melt down, as well (although I managed not to cry).

Since arriving, she's met many of Hubbykins friends, along with new aunts, uncles, cousins, and her great-grandma.  She's been having a lovely time introducing herself to a new set of adoring subjects.  Who knew it could be so wonderful to have a set of, as Auntie MO would call them, minions on both sides of the globe.

This taste of travel has given Babykins a new inkling of her ability to slowly dominate the world, one cute smile at a time.  With the U.S. and Australia thoroughly conquered, she's starting to eye up small European countries.  Watch your back, Kate Middleton - Babykins has discovered it's nice to be Queen :)

Watch out Janis Joplin, here comes Babykins!

If you want to see a group of stay-at-home mommies get all riled up, mention that your baby said "dada" before "mama."  Yesterday, Babykins woke up from her nap and laid quietly whispering "dadadadada" the entire time I changed her diaper.  By that evening, she was saying it at full volume.  And this morning, it was the first thing she said when I picked her up from her crib.

I don't begrudge Hubbykins the"dadadas".  What I find funny, though, is that Babykins says "dada", as well as "bababa" and "wawawa", in a gravelly, "I've been smoking cigarettes and drinking whiskey my whole life" kind of voice.  If Babykins knew how to sing, she could give Janis Joplin a run for her money.

I suppose it shouldn't be too surprising, though.  Babykins was born in the year of the tiger, and she's been growling and roaring since she learned how to make noise.  Our little tiger prefers a good "grrr" to a high-pitched baby noise any day.

If They Taught This in High School Health Class...

Warning: If you're thinking about having a baby in the near future, I'd recommend skipping this posting.  If you know someone who is currently pregnant or taking care of a baby, stop reading this and go do something nice for her.

And now, to address the title of my blog. It comes from my continual thought that "If they taught this in high school health class, there'd be a lot less pregnant teenagers."  I'm thoroughly convinced that they teach all of the wrong things in high school health.  As I recall, the message went something like, "If you have sex, you will get pregnant, catch a disease, and possibly die."

A compelling argument, and one that worked on me, but it lacks immediacy for a lot of teens (especially since the advent of penicillin).  To fix this problem, schools used to have kids carry around a 5 pound sack of flour wrapped in a diaper to simulate parenthood (old school, yes - effective, no).  These days they have fancy babies that cry and move, and still completely fail to give teens the real parenthood experience.  So if I was in charge of high school health class, the curriculum would go something like this:

• Week 1: Feel nauseous, throw up a lot, and eat nothing but mac and cheese or pizza for all of your meals.  Cry when your favorite cereal runs out.  Get motion sickness, throw up in the car, and brush your teeth at Walmart.  Cry when the store doesn't have the item you want to buy.  Throw up every time you try to brush your teeth.  Cry when someone looks at you funny.
• Week 2: Try to go out for the evening.  Discover that none of your pants button.  Realize that you don't yet look pregnant, just fat.  Inform your husband you're never leaving the house again.
• Week 3: Gain 30 pounds.  Discover even your maternity clothes no longer fit.  Ask for help every time you want to get up from the sofa.  Run to the bathroom every 30 minutes day and night.
• Week 4: Attend a child birth class.  Discover all the incredibly disgusting things your body will do the weeks immediately after giving birth (I'll spare you the details here).
• Week 5: I'd suggest simulating the pain of childbirth, but that would be torture even by the Bush administration's standards.  Instead, stay up all night doing intense cardio.  Get handed a small baby simulator (BS) that doesn't care how tired you are.  Discover that your pre-maternity clothes still don't fit.
• Week 6: Wake up every 2 hours at night for a 1/2 hour feeding of baby simulator.  Have BS cry every 2 hours during the day.  Change diapers, feed BS, rock BS, give BS pacifier.  BS continues to cry.
• Week 7: Buy the wrong brand of diapers.  Wash poop out of 2 outfits each day.  Get thrown up on so many times you run out of clean shirts.  Do laundry, clean house, and cook meals during nap time.
• Week 8: Have BS throw up in store.  Wake up every 4 hours at night to feed BS.  Get peed on by BS while changing diapers.  Realize you don't care who sees your breasts in public, as long as BS stops crying and people in the grocery store stop staring at you like you're torturing her.
• Week 9: Turn in your baby simulator.  If you and baby have both survived, receive an "A".  If you look well rested, your makeup's done, and your hair is styled, receive an "F".  You obviously did not attend to your BS.

Republican presidents and the Pope, you can thank me later for solving the teen pregnancy problem.

Aloha Auntie MO! Part 2

In Hawaii, Aloha not only means hello, it also means goodbye (actually it means about a gazillion other things, as well, but that's for another blog).  Today is Auntie MO's last day with us in Oahu, so it's once again time to say, "Aloha."  Babykins hardly slept last night and has been clingy this morning.  I think it's because she knows the end of the visit is drawing near.

But instead of being sad, I've decided to focus today on the fun we had during Auntie MO's trip.  Since my last post about her visit, we've been very busy.  We've seen breathtaking views from the Pali Lookout and traveled through a small rain forest.  We saw a Buddhist temple and attended a Thai festival.  Auntie MO has been paddle boarding 4 times, and we all attended a Hawaiian language church service in Hawaii's first church.  Most importantly, we've had the chance to spend time together, and Babykins has had a wonderful re-discovering her Aunt (who taught her that all the people she sees are her Minions).

We'll be sad to say Aloha to Auntie MO, but in just a month, Babykins, Hubbykins, and I will be making the trip to Pennsylvania for Christmas, and we'll once again be able to use Aloha in the happiest sense possible.

Return of the Mack

dFirst and most important, happy 7 month birthday, Babykins!!!  You're growing so fast and reaching so many new milestones, it's just amazing.  Mommy and daddy love you!

Last night, for the first time in almost 6 months, Hubbykins and I went out by ourselves for a date night.  Auntie MO volunteered to babysit while we went out to eat, and we planned to put the baby down to bed, then head out for an evening on the town.

Our plans changed a bit, but we ended up having a fabulous evening.  We went out early for drinks with friends, then returned home to put Babykins to bed, then headed out again for a solo dinner.  Auntie MO took a picture of us before we left, and when we saw it later, it was like looking at our pre-pregnancy selves.  Being out on the town with Hubbykins even made me feel like my pre-pregnancy self again for the first time in over a year. 

Despite being a little nervous about being away from Babykins, she had a fun night with her auntie and we had a fun night being grown ups.  We even managed to make it through the whole evening without calling home.

Babykins did make her opinion about our going out known, though.  Despite enjoying herself while we were gone, and going right to sleep when we stopped home, once we returned for the night she woke up every half hour for the rest of the night just to make sure we didn't go out again.  Just letting us know we shouldn't plan on making date night a regular event quite yet.

Dear Michelle Duggar

Dear Michelle Duggar,

How do you do it?  I have one 7 month old baby, and I am always tired, occasionally cranky, and only recently started doing my makeup again.  You have 19 children, and not only do you always seem like a bastion of serene calmness, your clothes are ironed, your hair is done, and you somehow manage to home school everyone.

I'd be willing to bet you never look up at 1 pm and realize you forgot to brush your teeth.

So again I ask, how do you do it?  I can't imagine you've had a full night's sleep in the last 20 years.  Is it that you've completely accepted your role as stay-at-home mom, so never get frustrated when you're cleaning up the gazillionth mess of the day?  Is it because you finally have children old enough to help?  Or is there a special mommy handbook I just haven't discovered, yet?  If so, I'll send my address and postage if you'll pop it in the mail.

Sincerely,
Mommykins

Backwards, Ho!

Lately, Babykins has been working very hard to learn to crawl.  She flips from sitting to her tummy, rocks back and forth on her hands and knees, and wiggles her little hips in an attempt to get moving.  One of these days, I'm going to walk across the room and look down to find her following right along behind.

Although she has yet to make any forward progress, Babykins spent a good chunk of time last night going backwards.  She was on her tummy, staring hard at a toy just out of reach.  She gathered up all her little strength, pushed on her arms, and promptly slid farther away from her objective.  This didn't discourage our intrepid Babykins.  She just re-focused, put her arms back under her...and moved even farther in the opposite direction of where she wanted to be.

Five minutes and 3 feet later, Babykins finally realized her toy was getting farther and farther away.  Her little head went down on the ground, and she gave the saddest little cry.  Luckily for Babykins, there were 3 grown ups in the room more than happy to pick her up and sit her near the toy she'd been chasing.

It was an exciting adventure, both for Babykins who, while she didn't get where she was going, did manage to make some independent travel, and for all of us, who marveled over her new skill. 

Things We Might Not Tell the Doctor

At Babykins' last check-up, the doctor gave us a list of foods we could begin introducing to the Babykins' diet.  It included things like whole grain cereal (e.g., Cheerios) - check.  Eggs - tried and rejected.  And liver - not a chance.  It also listed fruits - Babykins loves cantaloupe and apples - and veggies, which are not so high on Babykins' list of likes.

The list also discourages baby food, stating that the only people who benefit from these purees are the baby food companies.  I have to admit that from a pure convenience perspective, I'm not ready to give up the ready-made baby foods.  Although the last time the doctor asked about what we're feeding her, I may have forgotten to mention that they're still a part of her diet.  After all, we only buy the ones that are pure fruit and water.

At Babykins' next check-up, I may also conveniently forget to mention that today I introduced my child to the joys of (salt-free) french fries.  Auntie MO, Babykins, and I were having lunch at a burger joint, and Babykins stared so hard at the fries that I just couldn't resist slipping her a bite.  It was quite possibly the first food she actively wanted more of on the first try.  6 or 7 bites later I was simultaneously pleased that she was being such a good eater, and feeling guilty that I was giving her such junk.

Either way, it made for a lovely lunch, which Babykins promptly washed down with some mama milk.  And when I tell the story later, it's possible those fries will magically morph into baked potatoes.

Craters and Snorkels and Waves, oh my!

Babykins has been on the move since Auntie MO's arrival.  Thursday we hiked Diamond Head crater.  Babykins insisted she could crawl right up that mountain, but we decided to carry her up.  560 feet and 271 stairs later, Babykins was kicking away in her carrier, and Mommykins was about to fall over.  It was well worth it for the view, though, and Auntie MO carried Babykins down.  Babykins promptly fell asleep in the car, and in her version of the story, she still insists she crawled the whole way :)

Friday found us on the North Shore, watching the HIC qualifying competition for the surfing Triple Crown.  The waves were so massive that swimming wasn't allowed on most of the beaches, and the surfers brave enough to go out looked tiny on the ocean.  While Auntie MO and I watched in amazement, Babykins just scoffed and talked story about how she could out surf them all.  Ever since Daddy put her on our paddle board a couple weeks ago, she's been quite confident of her ocean skills.

Finally, this morning we went over to Hanauma Bay for some snorkeling.  While Auntie MO, Daddy, and some work friends swam with the fishies, Babykins practiced her new skill of flipping from a sitting position to lying on her tummy.  This is a fun game to play at home.  At the beach it resulted in a sand-covered baby. 

We wrapped up these days of fun with an evening barbecue, where the Hubbykins and I showed our true Hawaiian spirit by donning long pants and sweaters when the temperature dropped to a chilly 75 (approx. 22 C).  Babykins, wrapped in footie pajamas and a jacket, watched the stars and tried valiantly to grab the food off our plates.

She's now passed out, sleeping off her adventurous days, with the grownups close behind.

Mama!!!!!

Sometimes, you're just so glad to have a witness.

Babykins, Auntie MO and I are walking down the hall to the apartment this afternoon after a quick swim (yes, we went swimming in November - I LOVE Hawaii).  I'm carrying Babykins, who is looking around the hallway at the lights, not making a sound.  All of a sudden, out of nowhere, she very loudly calls, "Mama!"  And proceeded to not make another noise until we got to the apartment.

I'm sure it was just a random sound combo for her and she wasn't actually  addressing me, but it was still one of the most exciting mommy moments I've had.  I think I actually scared her a bit with how excited I was - big hug and kisses and lots of laughter. 

I spent the rest of the afternoon looking at her and prompting, "Say Mama," but she has yet to repeat the feat.  Which makes me very glad Auntie MO witnessed the event, or by now I'd be starting to doubt that it actually happened.  Yea, Babykins!!!  Keep up the wonderfulness :)

Aloha Auntie MO!

Babykins' Auntie MO (Short for Marvelous One) arrived last night and is going to be spending 2 weeks in Hawaii. This is the first time Babykins will actually be old enough to understand that she's being spoiled.  The last time we had long-term visitors, the little sweetie pie didn't realize that she was getting picked up, carried, and played with more than usual.

This time, she has very quickly discovered that with an adoring auntie around, life is much more fun than when it's just Babykins and mommy all day.  Every whim and want can be met in half the time.  There's never a time when a quick fuss goes unanswered.  And when mommy can't immediately attend to her, a cute look aimed at auntie will quickly do the trick.

Babykins loves her Auntie MO and is soaking up all the extra attention.  It's going to be a sad, sad day for her when it goes back to just being mommy at her beck and call.

Trick or Treat!

According to an article my mom (Grandmommykins) read, more than 75% of parents admit to pilfering Halloween candy from their children's stash.  Since Babykins doesn't have any teeth and is much too young for sweets, I consider eating her Halloween candy more of a public service.  It would teach Babykins a bad lesson if we let food go to waste.

We celebrated Babykins first Halloween 2 nights this weekend.  On Saturday we went to Honolulu's Hallowbaloo music festival.  Babykins got all dressed up in her little orange and white "Baby's First Halloween" onesie and hit the town.  We got a picture with Mickey (Babykins cried), listened to some bands, and when Babykins fell asleep decided to push our luck and eat dinner there.  We got home at 7:30 (a big night out in the Babykins household!), at which point Babykins promptly woke up from what she considered a great nap and proceeded to not sleep.  An hour later I was asleep on the floor, Hubbykins barely had his eyes open on the sofa, and Babykins was wide awake playing with her toys.

Sunday night we dressed Babykins up in the little "Boo" ghost costume I'd worn for my first Halloween and headed to Bishop Museum's Treat Street.  We arrived promptly at 5:30 when it opened to discover a line reminiscent of Disney World in order to go in.  Babykins fell asleep on the way there and stayed passed out while we waited in line, but like the brave (foolish?) parents we are, we woke her up when we entered so that she could have the Trick or Treating experience.  You walk past about 100 yards of painted back drop that holes cut out where people stick their arms through and drop candy in your bag.  By the time we reached the 3rd hole, Babykins was crying.  Disembodied hands just aren't her thing.

A few tears, one sleepless night, and much pilfered candy later, I'm happy to say we had a wonderful first Halloween with the ever adorable Babykins.

Mad Skillz

Babykins has developed (and rediscovered) some mad skillz lately.  Her talking repertoire now includes the wawawa sounds, mixed with the occasional bababa and (I swear!) a very rare mama - mostly when she's crying.  She's also starting to get the hang of the crawling motion.  She's not cruising around yet, but she's starting to push off with her feet in an effort to scooch forward.  Unfortunately, at the moment, this activity usually just causes her to face plant, but that hasn't deterred her from continuing to give it the old college try.

We've also been working with Babykins to rediscover rolling.  After an early start, rolling from her tummy to her back at 3 months, and one miraculous roll from back to tummy at 5 months, Babykins gave up on the whole rolling concept in favor of sitting.  Personally, I think sitting's pretty awesome (not to mention holding onto furniture and standing!), but at her 6 month check up, the doctor put the term "Infrequent Roller" in Babykins' chart, so we're back to extensive tummy time.  After many fun rolling games (I roll her across the floor, roll her over in a tube at play group, and clap like crazy anytime she looks like she might consider rolling), Babykins has deigned to roll over 5 more times on her own.  I count this as success and hereby officially declare her a "Frequent Roller." 

Perhaps more exciting, Babykins has finally learned how to put her head down without suffocating herself.  For some unknowable reason, Babykins has always insisted on putting her head down face first when on her tummy.  This has a tendency to smash her nose and mouth into the floor.  Although she usually props her head up on her hands, leaving some breathing room, I've always worried a bit about her ability to breathe in this position.  This week, the head has finally turned!

Congratulations Babykins! 

The Big D

This week, Babykins and I took a big and terrifying step.  We went to tour our first daycare.  The original plan was that I would stay home with Babykins for the first year, then return to work full time.  Recently, though, I've been thinking it may be better to head back to work part time after the holidays, then work my way to full time over a couple months.

Which brought Babykins and I to the daycare.  On the plus side, I think she'll like it.  Babykins loves going to play group, and really, daycare is just one long play date.  On the down side, I'm not sure I'm ready to leave her.  More than anything else, the thought of going back to work and leaving Babykins with other people all day brings on conflicting emotions of excitement (I can talk to other grown ups!), sadness (I love being with Babykins), and guilt (what if she never forgives me for abandoning her?).

Luckily, we have some time for both of us to adjust to the idea.  And if Babykins doesn't learn how to drink her milk from an alternative source soon, it'll be a moot point, anyway.  In the meantime, we'll keep visiting day cares and making the most of our time together now.

Dear Random Stranger

Dear Random Stranger,

I know I'm the most adorable baby you've ever seen.  And I know that now that I'm a big, bad 6-monther who can sit up all by herself, you think I'm a big girl.  But please remember that I'm really just a little baby, and you're a random stranger I've never seen before, and that makes you SCARY.

If you make loud noises and fast, sudden movements, I will cry.  When I start to cry, please don't continue to make weird faces and sounds at me.  MOVE BACK and let my mommy pick me up.  Also, I know my chubby cheeks and squishy thighs are irresistible, but seriously, I'm going to ask you to exercise a little self control and resist.  It's one thing to poke my foot - it's another to touch my face or grab my hands.  My hands go directly into my mouth, and I don't know how recently you touched something dirty without washing your hands afterward.

And to the sales lady who actually picked me up without asking, you are so lucky daddy didn't tell mommy what store you work at, because mommy's been thinking things about you that could get her in serious trouble.

To all you other wonderful random strangers who stand back and wave and tell me what a cute baby I am, keep the love coming!!  I send you kisses.

Love,
Babykins

Weeee!!!!

Last week I signed Babykins up for a local play group called Wee Play & Learn.  We had stopped in for a free trial, thinking it would be a one-day, fun diversion, but 1 hour and an infants pricing special later, we were hooked.

The obvious question, of course, is, "What exactly does a 6 month old do at a play group?  Drool on the other babies?"  It turns out they can do a lot (in addition to drooling on other babies, which actually happened to Babykins her first day).  There are shakers and songs and stories.  Parachutes and bubbles and puppets.  Bouncy balls and games and toys galore!  And most importantly, huge smiles and lots of belly laughs from Babykins!!

Honestly, I stopped even thinking about the price when I saw how much Babykins loved that hour of play (and it doesn't hurt that afterward she's so tuckered out from all of the fun that she immediately takes a nap).  She loves watching the other kids and joining in the activities.  And the hubbykins and I have learned that she has skills we didn't know about.  Who would have guessed you can play wheelbarrow with a 6 month old?  And we were shocked to discover that Babykins can use a toy to hold herself in a standing position without us supporting her! 

Now, if only there was a Wee Play & Learn for mommies, too.  Wishing you all big smiles and belly laughs! 

There's No ( ) in Mommyhood!

In "A League of Their Own," Tom Hanks famously yells at one of the women, "There's no crying in baseball!"  It turns out the same is true in mommyhood.  Babykins gets 5 shots and I just want to cry along with her.  Babykins falls over and bumps her head, I'm just about in tears with worry.  But there's no crying in mommyhood.  You have to smile, and sing a song, and tell Babykins everything is ok. 

I'm finding there are a lot of other things that don't exist in mommyhood.  There's definitely no sick days in mommyhood.  I felt a little sick Thursday night.  Woke up Friday morning feeling like I'd been run over by a large truck.  But Babykins doesn't care.  She still needs to eat, and get dressed, and be entertained. 

I'm sure there are lots of other things that don't exist in mommyhood...uninterrupted showers, sleeping in, nights on the town.  So fill in the blank for me..."There's no (   ) in mommyhood!"

Next blog...all the wonderful things that do exist in mommyhood that I didn't have before Babykins!

Too Young for Dairy Queen?

Babykins had her 6 month check up today.  She's growing, healthy, and happy and now, after the appointment, completely traumatized.  I knew she would need to get her immunizations today, but when the doctor walked in with 5 needles, I just about cried. 

I held Babykins while she got her shots (2 in one thigh, 3 in the other), and as expected, she grabbed my arm, buried her head in my neck, and screamed until she turned red.  When the shots were done she eventually calmed down, although any time she looked at the doctor, she started crying again.

All of which made me wish that she was old enough to enjoy the bribe my parents used with me on shot days - a trip to Dairy Queen.  Few things in the world take away the pain of a shot as well as a small bowl of vanilla ice cream with chocolate sauce and rainbow jimmies (sprinkles, for those of you not from Philly).  I considered having a bowl on Babykins' behalf, but soon realized that while she can't yet have that wonderful, creamy treat, she was quite content to have a nursing feast in its place.

Little Miss Independent

Babykins has become very coordinated.  Last night, with one quick, fluid motion, she pulled her pacifier out of her mouth and popped it into hubbykins mouth before we had any idea what she was planning.  This new found coordination has a lot of great results.  She rarely cries for us to help her with a toy these days, fewer toys are accidentally poked into her eye, and she can usually get her sippy cup into her mouth without assistance.

The new coordination has also made her more independent, which,while a major goal of parenting, also requires us to be on our toes all of the time.  Yesterday, Babykins decided that as a big six-month-er, she no longer needs my help holding slices of cantaloupe (one of her favorite foods).  Unfortunately, it's a slippery melon and now instead of using my time to hold it while she eats, I'm spending all of my time picking it up from the (rented, white carpeted) floor.  Luckily, she has yet to realize that this could become an extremely fun (for her) game.

Her independence and coordination have also extended her reach.  Things that I once deemed in safe locations are now being torn, thrown to the floor, and chewed on.  My to-do list, left on the floor seemingly a safe distance away, barely survived the morning.  The tin that holds my keys has dive bombed the floor more than once as we walked by.  And two days ago while walking through a store in the mall, I looked down to discover that Babykins had grabbed a shirt and was pulling it along behind us.

All of which greatly pleases the little one.  You can watch her focus on something that she's decided to go after, start to lean toward it, and a little gleam comes to her eye that announces, "Look out world, here comes Babykins!"

Babies!

This weekend we watched the documentary, "Babies."  This cute little movie follows four babies from birth until a little past 1 year: Hattie from San Francisco, Ponijao from Namibia, Bayarjargal from Mongolia, and Mari from Tokyo.  It had more than its share of adorable, funny, and touching moments, and I cooed, awwwwed, and laughed my way through it.

At the end, though, my strongest emotion was relief.  Surely, if these babies can survive to be happy and healthy, then I can worry just a little less about Babykins.  The baby from Mongolia was using a pig's tongue with a match stick through it as a pacifier.  The baby from Namibia was chewing on a stick.  Little Bayarjargal got stepped on by a cow with no ill effects.  Ponijao was covered in flies from birth and did just fine.

And absolutely no one's mother seemed concerned that maybe her baby was bored during a walk through the mall.

I don't think this was necessarily the point of the movie, but I certainly found it liberating.  I have a feeling, though, that Babykins might not be as pleased with my interpretation of the movie's moral.

Cuteness alert!!!  Babykins has recently learned how to blow raspberries.  She gets a big smile, sticks out her tongue, and blows.  You get covered in baby spit, but with a baby this adorable, you don't really mind.

You Know You're a First Time Parent When...

The other day at the store, I was talking to the lady behind me in line when she said, "This must be your fist baby."  What gave me away?  I like to think that I just look too young to have more than one child.  But I'm pretty sure there are some other major giveaways.

You know you're a first time parent when...

• You have 10 books on how to raise your baby and you try to simultaneously follow the advice from all of them
• Instead of just letting your baby cry in the store, you stop to sing 5 Little Ducks 
• You not only sing 5 Little Ducks, you do it in sign language, too
• You call the doctor the first time your baby sleeps 8 hours to make sure nothing's wrong
• You insist that your child will not eat any junk food until she's 5 
• You actually stop and listen when strangers offer advice
• You start every other sentence with, "The book says..."

And perhaps the most telling...you still have time to write a blog :)

Everything's a First at 6 Months

Since Babykins has only been in the world for 6 months, almost everything she does is a first.  Eat a Cheerio?  A first!  Roll over?  A first!  There have been some big firsts since coming to Hawaii, though, and yesterday was one of them.

Babykins got her first passport photos.  Being an international baby, our little Australmerican must be ready to jet at a moment's notice.  Unfortunately, to get her picture taken she had to sit by herself in the middle of a big white mat, which quickly led to tears and resulted in a picture with red-rimmed eyes and a slightly dazed look.  It turns out even adorable babies don't get to have perfect passport pictures.  I'm hoping she'll have another first before heading to Australia - I'm working on getting her to say, "G'day Mates" in a little Aussie accent.

In even cuter "first" news, the Babykins has been working hard lately to be able to put her own pacifier in her mouth.  It's hit or miss, but today I looked over to discover her trying to put the pacifier in her dolly's mouth.  Dolly's a cat with a sewn on mouth, so it didn't work, but it was awfully sweet watching Babykins try to share - a very important "first".

Happy 6 Month Birthday, Babykins!

Today is Babykins 6 month birthday.  We have a tradition of having a special dessert on each of her month birthdays.  This month brings us to dessert number 7 (we ate the top of our wedding cake when she was born).  That got me thinking about how often we've done other activities over the last 6 months.  There have been approximately:

• 7 special birthday desserts
• 8.5 pounds gained
• 10 trips to the pediatrician
• 155 baths
• 183 sleepless night
• 300 miles walked
• 458 outfit changes
• 600 pictures taken (just by me and hubbykins)
• 641 hours of nursing
• 800 repetitions of "Doe-a-Deer" and "If You're Happy and You Know It"
• 1830 diaper changes
• 4575 wipes used
• 1 million kisses

Happy 6 month birthday, Babykins!
Love,
Mama

Pink Stripes and a Ruffled Skirt

First, the big news.  Babykins has her first tooth!!!  For those of you who heard this same news a month ago only to discover it was not actually a tooth, I guarantee that this time it's the real deal.

Even before her tooth, I would say, completely objectively, that Babykins is the cutest baby ever.  But despite the chubby, rosy cheeks, sparkling blue eyes, fluffy blond hair, and captivating smile, I accept that Babykins, like most infants, is fairly androgynous.  Put her in a green onesie or her blue and white striped outfit, and I can understand why people need to ask whether she's a boy or girl.

Sometimes, though, people are just dumb.  A list of outfits my child has been wearing recently when someone told me what a cute little boy I have:

1) A onesie that, although green, read "Daddy's Princess."
2) A t-shirt with neon pink and green lady bugs with a skirt edged in pink.
3) A light violet onesie with purple hearts.
4) And my favorite, yesterday she was wearing a pink and white striped shirt with a ruffled denim skirt.  Two people commented on my little boy's eyes.

Seriously people.  I'm not a cruel mommy.  I wouldn't do that to a boy.

Oddly enough, women tend to be the biggest offenders.  Most men carefully word their compliments, simply remarking on the cute baby.  Meanwhile, an amazing number of women will follow up their blunder by saying that people often thought their baby girls were boys, too.  Apparently, that experience didn't make them any more carefyk when talking to other people's babies.

Luckily, Babykins doesn't seem to mind.  She's a sucker for a compliment, and she smiles just as widely when people tell her she's a cute little boy as she does when they tell her she's a pretty little girl.  And all I really want is to see Babykins smile, so keep the cooing coming, accurate or not.

A Letter from Babykins

Dear Mommy,

Please stop taking me to the doctor to have my ears checked.  They don't hurt.  They just happen to be the exact right size for my thumbs - not too tight and not too loose.  This is an exciting discovery, and I will continue to stick my thumbs in them all day and even at night while asleep.  One day, when I realize that my nose is also the perfect size for little fingers and all sorts of other items, you can take me back the doctor to have the Cheerios removed.  Until then, I'm just having fun.

Love,
Babykins

This holiday weekend we're going on a guilt trip!

When Babykins was 3 months old, she started sleeping 10 straight hours through the night.  Although we tried not to show it too much, we were smugly gleeful.  At 4 months, she started waking up once a night to eat.  The doctor said it was because she was growing, and we started solid food.  By 5 months karma had come back to kick us, and Babykins was waking up twice a night to nurse, twice a night after spitting out her pacifier, and once or twice just for a cuddle.  I have learned my lesson about smugness.

With leads us this weekend to the great debate - how do we get her to sleep through the night?  Do we Ferber-ize her (the so-called Cry It Out method)?  Go with the Sears method (which as far as I can tell involves co-sleeping and cuddling)? Or just suck it up and accept that we'll never sleep again?

We went Ferber(ish).  I'm not sure who cried more - Babykins or Mommykins.  But after two 10 minute cycles, Babykins slept for 9 1/2 hours, and tonight it only took 4 minutes of crying before she fell back asleep.  Which leaves Babykins sleeping like a baby, and me wracked with guilt about the emotional damage I've caused this weekend.  Guilt stricken, but also slightly smug :)

A Few of Our Favorite Things

I recently started a gratitude journal.  Each night you're supposed to write down three things that happened that day that you're grateful for (all the cynics can stop making faces - it's a nice idea).  If Babykins and I each had to fill out just one day in the journal, I think it would look something like this:

Mommykins:
Thank you for...
1) a happy, healthy Babykins
2) my wonderful Hubbykins
3) finally letting me fit back in my shorts

Babykins:
Thank you for...
1) showing Daddy how to fly me like an airplane
2) giving Mommy the milk machines
3) making me so darn cute!

The Great Race

Recently, Babykins has discovered that under her diaper she has a heiney.  As with all great discoveries, it must be explored, and diaper changing time provides her only opportunity.  This has led us to the Great Race between Mommykins, armed with a wipe, and Babykins, armed with gleeful curiosity.

Babykins, although not yet fully coordinated, has speed and two free hands on her side.  While I have dexterity and planning on my side, I'm sleep deprived and slow.  We're pretty evenly matched.  For awhile, a clean diaper served as a distraction, keeping both of Babykins' hands occupied.  She seems to have figured out the trick, though, waiting until my hands are full then throwing down the diaper and making a mad grab.  Apparently, Babykins also has superior intellect on her side.

Thanks to Babykins' outstanding win record, I have perfected the Catch and Wipe, getting her hand wiped off before it reaches her mouth.  This always brings on hearty bouts of laughter from Babykins.  I can't tell whether she just enjoys the feel of the wipe, or whether she's celebrating her win.  I have a feeling it's a little of both.

Does is count as a lie if they can't understand?

Now that Babykins is able to sit up on her own, she is vehemently against being strapped into her car seat.  If she could talk, her argument would be something along the lines of, "Mother, when you strap me in, I can't see what's going on around me.  Plus, it's harder to play with my toys, and I would appreciate the opportunity to practice my new independent sitting skills."  Since she can't talk, she starts screaming and continues to cry until we get where we're going, making our 5 minute drive to the grocery store feel much, much longer.

So the other day I hear myself saying, "Babykins, I have to strap you in.  The President says all babies have to be buckled in and we have to do what the President says."  A blatant lie, right up there with, "This will only hurt a little" and "Of course there's a Santa Claus."  But does it count as a lie if Babykins can't understand what I'm saying?  I vote "no."  Of course, I can't be sure she doesn't understand.  I constantly try to get her to understand when she's crying and I tell her I'll feed her right now that she can stop crying (it doesn't work).  And James Frey blamed his alcoholism on earaches from when he was a baby, so who knows what permanent damage I may be doing.






I promise I'll stop blaming the seat belt on the president in a couple months, and in the meantime, we may just give up on car trips.