Bad Mommy

Babykins gave me a huge scare today, which not only added a few gray hairs to my head, but got me thinking about the "Bad Mommy" moments I've had in the last 8 months.  If you've recently had a baby, or are thinking about having one soon, read on and know that you will eventually do something stupid, and you're not alone.

Three weeks after moving to Hawaii, we moved into our apartment.  One of the great draws for the building is its security.  Along with friendly security staff, everyone must use a key card to enter the building and work the elevators.

Our first week there, I took Babykins on a walk, double checking as I left that I had both my apartment key and my security card.  We took a stroll through the local mall, then went back to the building, heading for the disability entrance on the ground floor.

For some unknown reason, the disability entrance has the heaviest gate ever.  I swiped my key card, pried open the gate, shoved through the stroller containing Babykins, and felt the gate pull out of my hand.  Just as it slammed shut, I saw with horror that both my key card and cell phone were inside the building with Babykins, while I was locked outside on the sidewalk.

I was panicked.  There were no security guards around, and the only other way to get into the building was through the open lobby one floor up.  I couldn't leave Babykins alone that long, but I couldn't just stand there hoping someone would happen to go through that entrance at 10 AM on a work day.

Luckily, I'd noticed the grounds crew working a few feet down the sidewalk, and after explaining the situation in very poor Spanish, starting to cry, and finally dragging one man with me and pointing to my infant on the wrong side of the gate, a worker took pity on me and used his security card to open the gate and reunite hyperventilating me with a smiling and completely un-fazed Babykins.

It has by far been my worst "Bad Mommy" moment to date.

In a side note, I finally noticed about a month later that right next to the gate is a buzzer that calls the security office.  To quote Homer Simpson, "Doh!"

Have a "Bad Mommy" moment of your own?  Make me and every other new mom feel better.  Share it in the comments section (but nothing that would require us to contact 1-800-4ACHILD, please).

yteixnA noitarapeS

Being in Pennsylvania surrounded by family has given me the opportunity to do things I normally can't do.  I've gone to lunch with friends, gone out with my sisters, taken showers that didn't revolve around Babykins' nap schedule, and today Hubbykins and I are going to the movies.

These activities have left Babykins in the loving care of family for up to 2 hours at a time.  My aunts are always happy to remind me of the time they babysat me as a 2-year-old and I cried for 2 straight hours.  This is definitely not Babykins' problem.  She loves playing with everyone and hardly notices that I'm gone.

The problem is that Babykins has reverse separation anxiety.  In the living room with grandparents and aunts, she plays, she giggles, she crawls, she coos.  Not a tear in sight.  The moment I walk in the room, her bottom lip quivers, her eyes scrunch up, and the crying begins. 

I'm not sure why the reverse separation anxiety hits.  Is she punishing me for leaving?  Is she sad that the fun time is over?  Or is she just reminding me that she is firmly in charge.  If that's the case, she can stop crying...I'm sure I won't forget anytime soon who wears the diapers in this family :)

Dear Santa

Dear Santa,

Thank you so much for my first Christmas.  I had a great time!  First, I got to wake everyone up early.  Then mommy and daddy let me crawl all the way to the tree and pull out the paper that was hiding under it!  Did you know there were toys inside that paper?

I love playing with all of my new toys.  My shakers make lots of noise, and my lap top is just like daddy's!  I don't know how you knew just what to get me.  Please give your elves a big, drooly kiss for me.

Later that day (after mommy made me take a nap - boo!) lots of new adoring subjects came over to tell me how cute I am.  I graced them all with a smile, and even let some of them pick me up!  I bet Queen Elizabeth never lets her subjects pick her up.

That night, silly mommy and daddy tried to put me down for a full night's sleep.  I was very tired, but I was just too excited from the day.  I got up lots during the night to remind them about all the fun we had!

I heard about something called Christmas in July.  Could you send me a brochure?  I want to be ready.
Love,
Babykins

P.S.  Wasn't I the cutest baby ever in my fuzzy "Baby's First Christmas" jammies?  I'll wear them again next week in case you want to come back and leave more presents.

Santa!!!

Last weekend, we joined the age-old tradition of taking small children to sit on an old man's lap.  Despite the freezing weather, we bundled up Babykins and took her to meet Santa (we had the opportunity to visit Santa in Honolulu, but it just didn't seem authentic - plus, it's slightly odd that Hawaiian Santa wears board shorts and has his jacket open).

Dressed in her Nittany Lion snow suit, Babykins was the cutest baby in line.  We popped her on Santa's lap, where she grabbed his hand and told him all her Christmas wishes.  Ok.  She might not have talked, but she did grab his hand and pose while the official photographer, Auntie MO, Daddykins, and Grandpa all snapped away.

After a minute, we saw the little chin start to quiver and the eyes scrunching up in preparation for a good cry, so we scooped up Babykins and were on our way.  The entire experience only lasted a few minutes, but it was a magical start to the Christmas holiday.

Tonight we're preparing to place out milk and cookies for Santa and carrots for his reindeer.  Babykins may not understand the significance, but Mommykins is sure looking forward to the snack.

Wood Floor Wasteland

We have arrived safely in the frozen tundra that is Pennsylvania and snuggled down in my parents' home with no intention of leaving the heated house. While Hubbykins and I have overindulged in Christmas cookies, Babykins has had to face down the Wood Floor Wasteland.

My parents have a beautiful, new wood floor in their living room, with an area rug in the middle.  While it's gorgeous to look at (and fun for me to slide across in my socks), it posed a serious problem for Babykins when we arrived.  Not only is Babykins new to crawling, she has only ever experienced crawling on carpets, or on tile with bare knees.  So when her toy rolled off the area rug onto the wood floor, she didn't think twice about chasing after it.  Seconds later, she had wiped out, her pants-covered knees skidding across the wood.

This didn't deter our intrepid crawler, who doubled her efforts...and promptly slid backwards.  Unworried, she quickly decided she didn't really like that toy anyway, and turned her attention to other toys that were safely lying on the rug.  This quickly led to the Wood Floor Wasteland, where once beloved toys slowly languished outside the reach of Babykins.

This contentment with playing on the rug quickly ended, however, when the Christmas tree lights went on that night.  If ever there was something that would motivate Babykins to brave the Wood Floor Wasteland, it's the sparkle of a hundred lights and ornaments just waiting to be pulled off the tree.

We watched her square her shoulders, stare down the tree, and slowly move a knee onto the wood.  It took a few tries, but by dinnertime, Babykins had learned how to anchor herself with her hands while sliding her knees forward.  By bedtime, she was able to quickly and stealthily propel herself from the rug to the tree, little hand outstretched to wreak havoc on the lower branches.

Babykins still prefers the ease and safety of the area rug, but it's no longer surrounded by an effective wood moat, and breakables in the house are no longer safe.  She may not have brought her Adventurer Vest with her to Pennsylvania, but Babykins is still conquering all in her path.

Baby Genius

Babykins is obsessed with all things that belong to mommy and daddy - especially electronics. She'll move heaven and earth to get her hands on our laptops, and no remote is safe. In an attempt to watch an entire show without the channel suddenly changing on us, Hubbykins finally started just taking the batteries out of our remotes and letting Babykins play with them.

Auntie MO saw this on her trip here and sent Babykins a fabulous gift - a Sesame Street remote control. It's very realistic, with a number pad, volume control, and fast-forward/rewind buttons. We waited to give it to Babykins until the TV was on and she made a grab for one of our remotes. We were hoping the re-direction would cause her to fall madly in love with her new, personal remote.

And she does love it. But the other day, I watched her mental gears turn and realized we have a baby genius on our hands.

I had a show on, and Babykins was sitting on my lap playing with her remote. I watched her push a button, then look at the TV. Nothing happened. She looked down at her remote, pushed another button, and looked expectantly back at the TV. Again, nothing happened. She tried one more time, this time banging her little hand across as many buttons as possible. She looked back at the TV. When she saw that once again, nothing had happened, she threw down her remote and made a bee line for the real remote.

I hadn't expected her to figure this out, and she'd captured the TV remote and pushed every button before I was able to catch up. That's OK. I wanted to watch Elmo's World, anyway.

Pros and Cons

In the last 2 days, Babykins has gone from timid crawler to fearless explorer. Yesterday morning I sat her down in the hallway for a minute, and got back just in time to see her reaching her little finger toward the electrical outlet.

Which leads me to the major con of a crawling baby - baby proofing (and really, who needs proof that there's a baby in the house, anyway? If you need proof, just look at the insane pile of toys littered across our living room). After the outlet scare, Babykins and I made a trip to the store and spent the afternoon turning our apartment into an invincible fortress. The problem is that Babykins isn't the only one who can no longer open our kitchen cabinets. All of the pots and pans I used to cook last night are still sitting on the counter because it's so darn hard to open the cabinet, I've decided to wait and see if I can just re-use them for cooking tonight.

The positive, though, is that I'm learning much more about Babykins' personality. Before, I would guess which toy Babykins wanted to play with and put it in front of her. She would occasionally fuss for something different, but for the most part, she played where we placed with the toys we gave her until we changed things up.

Now when Babykins gets tired of a toy or her current location, she looks around the room, zeroes in on something interesting, and crawls over to examine it. It's fascinating to watch her decision process and see what she chooses to play with. I never would have guessed that the thing that would most grab her attention this morning would be her car seat.

I'm not at all surprised, though, that 9 times out of 10, the thing she finds most interesting is the one thing I didn't want her to play with. Electronics, beware! Babykins is coming your way!

Crawling!!!

For over a month now, Babykins has desperately wanted to crawl.  She could get on her hands and knees and rock back and forth.  She could even commando crawl for a few inches.  Most exciting, she could crawl backwards a fair distance.  Crawling forward, however, remained an elusive target.

All of that changed yesterday.  My old tempting trick of building a block tower for Babykins to knock down had ceased to serve as motivation (instead of trying to reach it, Babykins would just lay her head on the ground and look at me with big, sad blue eyes).  Instead, I pulled out a new toy sent by Auntie MO - the Move and Crawl Ball.  This ball, when you push the buttons, plays music, flashes lights, and rolls away from you.  If you lose interest and stop chasing it, after awhile it plays more music to re-capture your attention. 

I placed in on the floor about a foot in front of Babykins, and after her initial shock that it could play music without her help, she decided to go after it.  She got on her hands and knees, rocked back and forth, gave that ball a hard stare, and moved her knee forward!  After which, she promptly collapsed on her belly.

Never fear.  Babykins, our intrepid adventurer, continued to chase that ball, and by the evening she was crawling a foot at a time in an effort to capture it.  It was an exciting development, and one that Hubbykins captured with copious pictures. 

We're heading to Pennsylvania for Christmas this week, and all I can say is, "Look out Christmas Tree!  Here comes Babykins!"

Add That to the List of Bad Ideas

Being a mommy is a constant learning experience.  Through trial and error, I've discovered some wonderful activities to do with Babykins.  This weekend, however, I discovered an activity that will be added to my "List of Bad Ideas."

Last week, I got it in my head to do a craft project with Babykins.  Note to readers: No matter how simple the idea sounds, doing a craft project with an 8-month-old is a baaaaad idea.  But I didn't know that at the time, so Babykins and I took a trip to Walmart and stocked up on all of the supplies we'd need.

I won't go into details about the project, because we're using it for something secret at the moment, but by this morning I'd spent 2 hours armed with scissors and a glue stick, and Hubbykins, Babykins, and I were all covered in red ink.  Plus, as Hubbykins noticed, the ink looked remarkably like blood, so I had to do an extra good job cleaning up Babykins before we could venture out in public.

And after all that, we're only half-way done.  Tomorrow we're going to brave the blue ink, complete the project, and take a sacred vow to never, ever again do a craft project with an infant.

The Saga Continues...

After discovering that Babykins doesn't like sleeping in her "cage," Hubbykins and I baby-proofed her room and moved her mattress to the floor.  This was fantastic.  Babykins went right to sleep the next night.  About an hour after bedtime, though, she rolled off the mattress.  No big deal - it's only an inch thick.  We put her back on the mattress, and she immediately passed out.

By the fourth time she rolled off the mattress that night, I was exhausted.  I never knew there were so many ways to fall out of bed.  There's the scootch to the bottom and end up sitting on the floor at the foot of the mattress method.  There's the head hanging off the side approach.  There's the sleeping with head on mattress while kneeling on the floor position.  And, of course, the ever popular getting disoriented and crawling off the side.

So last night, Hubbykins and I decided to try having Babykins just sleep on the floor.  Not only would she be out of the cage, but, as the popular saying goes, "Babies can't fall off the floor."  While having your baby sleep on the floor may sound a little tough, I think we did a lovely job setting up a bed for her.  We tucked the edges of the blanket under the dresser and bed so that she couldn't get tangled, then crossed our fingers and hoped for the best.

Aside from just looking pretty, this bed had a number of deluxe features to make it especially Babykins friendly.  Notice the dresser drawer, taped shut to keep Babykins from pulling it open in the night (I swear, we did try to just remove the handle, but it's not as easy as it seems).

Also take note of the multiple pacifiers, in an attempt to have one always within Babykins' reach.

We also left a few non-chokeable toys nearby in the hope that if Babykins woke up during the night, she might quietly entertain herself (yes, we're slightly delusional).

Finally, we put up a barricade to keep Babykins from engaging in her favorite activity - rolling under the bed.

It didn't really work, of course.  Babykins still woke up multiple times during the night, crying for her pacifier, wanting her back rubbed, and needing to eat.  But not once did she fall off the mattress.

Footloose Female Lead Just Cast...

And "Ariel" will now be played by Babykins!  This exciting announcement came just this morning after producers of the teen dance movie saw Babykins shakin' her diaper to the tune of "Pop Goes the Weasel."  Producers were especially taken with Babykins' unique style of dancing...the jerky head bob, swiveling hips, and bouncing knees all combine to dramatically represent the spirit of a small town preacher's daughter with dreams of breaking free.

When asked how she developed this new dance style, Babykins humbly replied that she was just "shakin' what her mama gave her."

With the movie set to release next year, Babykins has begun a rigorous practice schedule, often waking up at 6:30 AM to groove for an hour before breakfast, and practicing late into the night, long after her coaches have encouraged her to break for the evening.  With this kind of dedication, we can expect to see great things from this rising star.

Who Loves the Zoo? We Do! We Do!

Babykins took her first trip to the zoo on Sunday.  The Honolulu Zoo is fairly small, but so is Babykins, so it worked out perfectly.  We were there for approximately two hours and saw about a quarter of the zoo.

Babykins, intrepid in her little pink "Adventurer Vest," had a wonderful time shaking her fists at the elephants, talking to the tiger, and kicking her legs at the reptiles.  The real treat, though, came when we reached the Keiki Zoo (Hawaii's version of the petting zoo).

After a loooong look at the fish, Babykins worked up her courage and petted a goat.  Luckily, the goat didn't try to pet her back.  By this time, the excitement and heat had done their work, and Babykins was ready for her afternoon nap.  All in all a very successful trip, and one we're looking forward to doing again.  Next time we may even make it half way through.

Babykins shows the fish her Adventurer Vest

Babykins' Big Night Out

This weekend, instead of visions of Sugar Plum Fairies, Babykins had visions of Christmas trees, marching bands,and Santa dancing through her head.  Saturday night we attended the Honolulu City Lights tree lighting and electric parade.

We arrived at 5:30 to secure our spot, and spent the next hour chatting with Hubbykins' co-workers.  Babykins was very patient with all of the grown up chit chat, using the time to charm everyone around us.  At 6:30, they lit the tree, a 55 foot Norfolk Pine (personally, I'd been hoping for a palm tree, but Honolulu decided to go the more traditional route).  The changing lights and sparkling ornaments kept Babykins captivated for the 5 minutes until the parade came by.

I had been a little worried that Babykins would begin to cry when the first marching band came through.  The last time she saw a parade, it was the Memorial Day parade in Qtown, and I quickly had to take her inside because of the noise.  This time, though, our big, bad 7-monther actually started crying when the band left.  She loved every minute of the parade, and watched with rapt attention, eyes and mouth both wide open, for the entire hour.

 By this time, it was 7:45, and Hubbykins and I decided to brave a little baby wrath by stopping at the small carnival where they had food booths, keiki (children's) rides, and a Christmas concert.  True to form, Babykins was an angel, chomping away contentedly on her Cheerios, listening to the music, and using Hubbykins and I as jungle gyms while we had our dinner.

As soon as we finished dinner we hurried Babykins home, finally popping her in to bed at 9:15, more than an hour past bed time.  She woke up every 45 minutes throughout the night, but really, who can blame her?  Who has time to sleep when there are so many fabulous new sights and sounds to think about?

Honolulu City Christmas Tree

Babykins' Bedtime Diary

7:15 - Used to be bedtime.  Have trained parents that this is bad bedtime.  In highchair eating Cheerios.
8:15 - Get ready for bed.  Fall asleep in mama's arms while eating.
8:30 - Something's wrong!  Open eyes.  Mama's putting me down in cage thing.  Cry.
8:40 - Have been turned, rolled, patted, and rubbed.  Still in cage thing.  Cry more.
8:45 - Parents finally get it.  Am removed from cage.
9:00 - Crying was invigorating.  Playing in living room.
9:15 - Ready for bed, again.  Fall asleep in mama's arms while eating.
9:30 - Parents not as dumb as they seem.  Have moved mattress out of cage, onto floor.
11:30 - Forget there's no cage.  Roll off mattress onto floor.  Cry.
12:30 - Try to suck pacifier.  Where is pacifier?!  Cry.
2:30 - Sleeping is hard work.  Hungry.  Cry.  Eat.
4:30 - Pacifier gone again.  Know how to put it back in.  Too tired.  Cry.
5:30 - Roll onto tummy.  Forget there's no cage.  Sleep with legs on floor, head on mattress.  Is this what it feels like to have a pillow?
6:30 - Feeling refreshed.  Wake up, parents!  Time to play!

Training: 1, Sleep: 0

Awhile ago, we discovered that Babykins likes to sleep on her side.  Roll her on her side when she wakes up at night, and you're guaranteed almost instant sleep.  With her new found proficiency at rolling, however, she has started to flip from her back or side onto her tummy.

For most babies, this would be a dream come true.  After months of being placed on the back to sleep (Back is Best!), having the ability to switch to tummy sleeping is a great change.  And Babykins desperately wants to sleep on her tummy.  The problem is that she's too well trained.

We spent months teaching her that tummy time means raising your head, pushing up on your arms, and trying to move.  So when Babykins rolls onto her tummy at night, despite being exhausted, she raises her head, pushes up on her arms, crawls backwards until she's stuck in a corner of her crib, and begins to cry.  It's one of the saddest things I've seen.

Especially since, unlike other babies, Babykins seems unable to figure out how to put her head down.  Which meant that I spent much of last night trying to re-train Babykins in the art of lowering her head to the mattress and turning it to the side.  She finally got the hang of head lowering, but the turning part remains elusive.  Thus, Hubbykins and I spent the night sleeping in her room so that I could check every couple hours that she was still breathing despite having her face smashed directly down in the mattress.

Oh, baby raising book, why don't you cover the topic, "What to do when your child won't turn her head"?