My future lawyer

It's been quite awhile now since Babykins last nursed.  She doesn't seem to miss it.  Every once in awhile, though, she randomly looks at me and says, "I nurse!"  I laugh, remind her that she's a big girl and doesn't nurse anymore, and she goes back to whatever she had been doing.

A couple weeks ago, though, Babykins was having an especially hard time falling asleep.  After about a half hour, she looked at me and asked, "I nurse?"

Me: No.  Remember, we don't nurse anymore.

Babykins:  No...I nurse!

Me: I know you want to nurse, but we can't anymore.

Babykins:  I nurse, please.  (Ah, she knows me so well.)

Me:  That was very polite, but we still can't nurse.

Babykins:  (Takes a long pause during which she obviously is thinking very hard.)  Mary Poppins nurses Michael!  (For those of you not in the know, Michael in the little boy in Mary Poppins.  He's about 6.  Mary Poppins does not nurse him.)

Me:  (Trying not to laugh.)  She does not, but that was a good try.  We're not nursing.  Good night.

Babykins:  Good night.

Suck it!

Lately, Babykins has A) been teething, and B) been traveling.  This has led to increased pacifier usage, and the unfortunate tendency to chew on it.  Chewing on pacifiers ruins them, so Hubbykins started reminding her, "Don't chew it, just suck it."

Which has led to Babykins randomly pulling out her pacifier, looking at us (or whoever happens to be around) and yelling, "Suck it!"

Oops.

Thief!

Babykins had a fantastic time on our cruise.  There were a couple thousand people trapped on a boat with nothing better to do than dote on her.  The waiters brought her favorite foods at dinner before she even asked.  The youth staff told her how smart she was.  Complete strangers ohh'd and ahh'd over her dinner dresses.  It was Babykins paradise.

I noticed, though, that a lot of people like to play a game with toddlers that they probably think of as cute. I think of it as stealing.

It goes something like this:

Stranger:  Oh, look at your cute purse!  It's so cute, I'm going to take it.  Look!  I've got your purse!

Babykins:  Giggles and reaches out for purse.

Me:  Trying to decide if pushing them down, taking back the purse, and telling them to steal from someone their own size would be an overreaction.

Obviously, I don't find this game as amusing as everyone else.

It didn't stop with the purse, either.  During the cruise, people took her chapstick, shoes, and a box of raisins.

Then one day, someone popped the pacifier out of her mouth, and I watched as Babykins tried to decide if the game was still fun, or if it was time to let out a scream that would let everyone know what she thought of pacifier thieves.

I quickly intervened, informing the gentleman that taking the pacifier was a bad idea and he should give it back quickly (I may have given him the look, too).  Babykins was quickly handed back her pacifier, and disaster was averted.  It was a lesson, though.  Taking candy from a baby might be easy, but it's generally not a nice thing to do.

A sink by any other name...

We've been doing a lot of traveling lately.  Although it can be difficult to adjust to new rooms and beds, Babykins has been a champ.

When we arrived at our hotel in Malaga last week, Babykins ran off to explore the room.  After checking the bed, the closets, and the balcony door, she went to take a look in the bathroom.  A few minutes later she came out looking quite proud.  She had somehow managed to wash her hands.

Knowing that the sink should have been too high for her to reach, Hubbykins and I went to check out the situation.  We discovered that our toddler had indeed discovered a "Babykins size sink" as she called it.  Unfortunately, we had another name for it...the bidet.

We spent the next 2 days trying to convince Babykins that it was not a sink, but there was no changing her mind.  Babykins took every opportunity to sneak away and wash her hands, and we spent our days guarding the bathroom.  Somehow, by the end of the visit, I felt like Babykins had both the cleanest and dirtiest hands possible.

Things I Never Thought I'd have to Say to my Child

I think the title is pretty self-explanatory, so let's jump right in.  These are all things I've found myself saying over the last couple months:

Don't lick the TV!
Please don't try to eat the rug.
No, you can't go to the library naked.
Did you get that cracker out of the trash?  Spit it out right now!
Good farts! (Although I only say this when she's on the potty, I swear!)
Stop trying to walk on the wall.

Anything else I can expect to hear coming out of my mouth over the next few years that I never would have expected?