Permission

Recently, I've seen quite a few people post a link to a blog entry titled, "Why You're Never Failing as a Mother."  The basic point of the post is that you're doing a good job and there's no need to be perfect, so give yourself a break.

It got me to thinking about all of the things that have happened to me as a parent that I was surprised/confused/felt guilty/annoyed about.  Things I usually didn't want to admit to the other mommies at playgroup who seemed to have it all together.  Things that, when I did mention them to another woman, she had also experienced.

So here, as a follow-on to that other blog, is my list of:

5 Things I Hereby Officially Give You Permission To Do:

1. Cry - When you're waking up to a screaming baby for the 5th time in one night...when you're cleaning up pee from the carpet for the third time TODAY...when both kids are crying and screaming at once and you need to triage which to attend to first...when you're hungry, need to pee, teeth aren't brushed, house is a mess, food's burning on the stove, and you look over just in time to see your toddler take a bite out of your brand new lipstick (why do they do this, Lord, WHY?)...go ahead and cry.  You'll feel better.
2. Turn on the TV - There are parents out there who somehow manage to raise their children without letting them watch TV.  I am not one of them.  Turning on Mickey Mouse Clubhouse is the only way I am guaranteed 20 minutes each day where my 2 year-old will sit on the sofa without moving so that I can take a shower.  Thank you, Mickey, thank you.
3. Compare yourself to other moms - My hair is in a ponytail every day.  And not just any ponytail...a wet ponytail.  Mickey Mouse Clubhouse only lasts 20 minutes, after all.  I felt bad about this.  I thought the other moms looked like they were much more put together than me.  Then one day, I reallllly looked at the other moms.  And I realized an amazing thing.  80% of them had their hair in a ponytail.  Most of them had dark circles under their eyes.  Some of them weren't wearing makeup.  And the majority of them still had some baby weight to lose.  At quick glance we see what we expect to see....which is usually that others are doing a better job than we are.  But when you look closely, you see that most moms are in the same boat.
4. Give them a vitamin - Most days, Babykins has 3 major food groups: fruit, dairy, and cereal.  On a good day, I can get her to eat a sausage or some chicken nuggets.  I worry.  I fret.  I bribe, cajole, and plead.  And then I remember this sage advice my pediatrician gave my mom when I was a picky little kid, "Is she growing?  Then she's fine.  Give her a vitamin and stop worrying."
5. Pretend not to hear the kids wake up on Saturday morning, in the hopes that your partner will get out of bed first, and you can sleep for 5 more minutes.

There you go.  Permission granted.  Enjoy.