Permission

Recently, I've seen quite a few people post a link to a blog entry titled, "Why You're Never Failing as a Mother."  The basic point of the post is that you're doing a good job and there's no need to be perfect, so give yourself a break.

It got me to thinking about all of the things that have happened to me as a parent that I was surprised/confused/felt guilty/annoyed about.  Things I usually didn't want to admit to the other mommies at playgroup who seemed to have it all together.  Things that, when I did mention them to another woman, she had also experienced.

So here, as a follow-on to that other blog, is my list of:

5 Things I Hereby Officially Give You Permission To Do:

1. Cry - When you're waking up to a screaming baby for the 5th time in one night...when you're cleaning up pee from the carpet for the third time TODAY...when both kids are crying and screaming at once and you need to triage which to attend to first...when you're hungry, need to pee, teeth aren't brushed, house is a mess, food's burning on the stove, and you look over just in time to see your toddler take a bite out of your brand new lipstick (why do they do this, Lord, WHY?)...go ahead and cry.  You'll feel better.
2. Turn on the TV - There are parents out there who somehow manage to raise their children without letting them watch TV.  I am not one of them.  Turning on Mickey Mouse Clubhouse is the only way I am guaranteed 20 minutes each day where my 2 year-old will sit on the sofa without moving so that I can take a shower.  Thank you, Mickey, thank you.
3. Compare yourself to other moms - My hair is in a ponytail every day.  And not just any ponytail...a wet ponytail.  Mickey Mouse Clubhouse only lasts 20 minutes, after all.  I felt bad about this.  I thought the other moms looked like they were much more put together than me.  Then one day, I reallllly looked at the other moms.  And I realized an amazing thing.  80% of them had their hair in a ponytail.  Most of them had dark circles under their eyes.  Some of them weren't wearing makeup.  And the majority of them still had some baby weight to lose.  At quick glance we see what we expect to see....which is usually that others are doing a better job than we are.  But when you look closely, you see that most moms are in the same boat.
4. Give them a vitamin - Most days, Babykins has 3 major food groups: fruit, dairy, and cereal.  On a good day, I can get her to eat a sausage or some chicken nuggets.  I worry.  I fret.  I bribe, cajole, and plead.  And then I remember this sage advice my pediatrician gave my mom when I was a picky little kid, "Is she growing?  Then she's fine.  Give her a vitamin and stop worrying."
5. Pretend not to hear the kids wake up on Saturday morning, in the hopes that your partner will get out of bed first, and you can sleep for 5 more minutes.

There you go.  Permission granted.  Enjoy.

Boast Post

Let me be upfront - this post is designed for no other reason than to let me brag about my genius Babykins.  She is now 2 1/2 years old.

So the other day I'm sitting at the table doing some work while Babykins is "writing" with a pen on a piece of big cardboard in the kitchen.  I can hear her talking and singing to herself, but I'm not listening very closely....until I hear some letters, and my ears perk up.

I hear an "S."  I listen closer.  Then an "o."  I'm even more focused.  And as I continue to listen in amazement, I realize that Babykins has just correctly spelled her name!  She has been over there this whole time pretending to write her name, and although she can't actually form the letters, she knows what they are.

My daughter is a genius.  Feel free to be jealous.

Ok.  Enough bragging...for today...

Baby Terms: US vs. Australia

Although they speak English in Australia, it's not US English - which is confusing.  So for the uninitiated, here is a short guide to US vs. Australia baby terms:

Diaper = Nappy
Stroller = Pram
Baby = Bub
Nurse = Breastfeed
Cuddle = Nurse
Pacifier = Dummy

And, the word "heiney" doesn't exist here.

I hereby officially declare you fluent in a second language!

I confess...

...that I will wait to eat the yummiest foods until Babykins isn't in the room.

I further confess that I tell myself this is to keep Babykins from eating too much junk food...but really I just don't want to share.

I'm a bad, bad mommy.

My new favorite phrases

The older Babykins gets, the more she busts out some cute phrases.

A few months ago, she started using these gems:

(Whenever something didn't go as planned): Oh, man.
(When she wanted to watch her video, and thought a cute approach would help her cause): How about (clap) Mary Poppins!
(If Hubbykins or I hurt ourselves): You alright there?
(Always a favorite): I love you SO much.
(Pointing to my pregnant tummy): Shhh...baby's sleeping.

Lately, though, I've been hearing Babykins parroting back things I say to her on a regular basis:

(When we give her two choices, and she's not sure she likes either one): Let's talk about this.
(When I try to hurry her along during a rambling explanation): You need to be patient when I tell you something, Mama.
(When she doesn't want to stop playing to do what I've asked of her): Just wait one minute.
(And, one of my favorites, her version of "because"): Somecause
(When I tell her not to do something, but she plans on doing it anyway): I just be careful.

If nothing else, I've learned to watch what I say around a 2 1/2 year-old...

Grizzle Bear

Babyroo is the noisiest sleeper ever.  He doesn't just lie quietly while he sleeps.  He squirms.  He grunts.  He groans.  He growls.  I was trying to explain this to the nurse, and the only word I could think of to describe his behavior was "rootch."  I knew there was no way she would know what that word meant, and I was too tired to think of a way to translate it, so she unfortunately didn't understand the full breadth of noisiness I was trying to describe.

A couple days later I was reading some baby literature and came across the word "grizzle."  It was the absolute perfect word to describe Babyroo's behavior!  Since then, he has officially become our Grizzle Bear.  In the last 5 weeks, I have come to figure out a rough pattern of what his grunts and growls stand for.  I wish I could show you a pie chart, but since I can't, here's the bullet point breakdown:

• 50% of the time: I'm trying to fart/poop
• 20% of the time: Now that I've cleared out space, I want to nurse
• 20% of the time: Now that I've nursed, I need to spit up
• 10% of the time: I don't need anything, I just don't want those big people in the bed next to me to sleep

Mission accomplished, Babyroo, mission accomplished.

Things you don't want to hear

Most parents will agree that the top 2 things you don't want to hear from your kids are:
1) a sudden, unexplained shriek from the room where your kids are playing, and
2) (perhaps even more concerning) a sudden, unexplained silence from the room where your kids are playing.

This week, I added a third thing to the list.  Babykins, Babyroo, and I were all in the bedroom together. Babykins was coloring, and Babyroo was lying on the bed looking out the window.  Babyroo had started to fuss a bit, so I quick ran to another room to get my nursing pillow.  While I was gone (for all of 30 seconds) the fussing turned into full crying.  At which point I hear Babykins call, "Don't worry, Mama!  I'll pick him up!"  Post-partum healing be damned, I yelled out, "No!" and sprinted into that room.

Luckily, Babykins had changed tactics and had her finger in Babyroo's mouth, hoping he would start to suck on it.  He wasn't thrilled, but it was quite possibly the best thing I'd seen all day.  What a good helper.