Things I Never Thought I'd have to Say to my Child

I think the title is pretty self-explanatory, so let's jump right in.  These are all things I've found myself saying over the last couple months:

Don't lick the TV!
Please don't try to eat the rug.
No, you can't go to the library naked.
Did you get that cracker out of the trash?  Spit it out right now!
Good farts! (Although I only say this when she's on the potty, I swear!)
Stop trying to walk on the wall.

Anything else I can expect to hear coming out of my mouth over the next few years that I never would have expected?

Mama Lick!

Babykins loves going to the library.  We take her to story time twice a week.  She listens (somewhat) patiently to the stories, but what she really loves are the puzzles.  Hubbykins and I love that we can get new books, CDs, and videos each week, so that we don't have to read the same bedtime stories every night.

This past week we got a book called, How Do Lions Say "I Love You".  It's cute.  Each page tells how a different animal says I love you to its children.

The first time we read it, Babykins picked her favorite animal...the cow.  And I quote, "The mother cow says it with a lick and a nuzzle."  As soon as Babykins heard that line, she looked at me, pushed her bangs off her forehead, and cried, "Mama lick!"

Now I'm not squeamish when it comes to Babykins - I grew her, birthed her, breast-fed her for almost 2 years, and continue to wipe her poopie heiney - but I didn't really want to get in the habit of licking her.  But she was insistent, so I brushed my lip against her forehead and moved on with the story.

After that, every time we got to that page, Babykins pushed her bangs up and cried, "Mama lick!"  The fake lick seemed to be working...until tonight.  Tonight after I fake licked her, she looked me in the eye and  said, "No!  Tongue!"  And stuck out her tongue to demonstrate.

At which point I broke down and licked my child on the forehead.  Sigh...the things we do for our babies :)

For the record...

Babykins was weaned a few weeks ago at 22 months.  I know there were people in the pool placing their bets on the 10 year mark, but we have successfully stopped nursing with nary a tear.

We now go through 2 gallons of milk a week.  I didn't even know that was possible!

Babykins vs. "No"

I was reminded today that I have not added a new post in a verrrrrrrrry long time, so I now present, for your reading pleasure, "Babykins vs. "No."

Babykins will be 2 next month.  Which means that not only is she smart, she's now getting clever.  She has become especially tricky when it comes to getting around being told, "No."

Like all toddlers, Babykins has the tried-and-true fall-back methods that she tries first.  There's the "pretend I didn't hear you" method, along with the ever popular, "if I ignore them long enough maybe they'll forget" method.  In her really feisty days, she's even been known to go with the, "I'll just do it anyway and see if they have enough energy to catch me and put me in time out" method.

Lately, though, Babykins has developed two new methods...and they each have a very specific purpose.  The first is reserved for those times we tell her "No" because something just isn't popular.  For example, a few weeks ago Babykins became very distressed that the nails in the outside railing had rusted and turned some of the white paint orange.  When she asked me to fix the railing's "owwie," I said "No," explaining that it wasn't a job mommy could do.  Babykins thought about it, gave me a serious look, pointed her little finger at me, and said, "Grandma and Gop Gop."  I tried to explain that Grandma and Gop Gop couldn't do it either, but she wasn't buying it.  Since then, any time I say No because something isn't possible, she gives me a disappointed look and lets me know that Grandma and Gop Gop could do it.

The second method is used when we tell Babykins she can't have something.  I call it the, "I show you" method.  A typical scenario goes like this:
Babykins: I have icy pop!
Mommykins: No, you've already one this afternoon.
Babykins: No, I show you.
Babykins grabs my hand and pulls me to the refrigerator, where she insists I pick her up and open the freezer door.
Babykins (pointing to her favorite treat):  Icy pop!
Mommykins: I know we have icy pops.  You still can't eat one.
Babykins: I show you icy pop!

Apparently, Babykins is convinced that once she shows us the object of her desire, we'll realize the error of our ways and let her have it.  This method has yet to work, but Babykins keep trying.

Babykins will suddenly start listening when she's 3, right?

Oh, waitress!

Babykins likes to talk.  She also likes to boss people around.  Which means restaurants are practically like playgrounds for her.

Our first morning in our new place we decided to head to a local diner for some breakfast.  As we read through the menu, we asked Babykins if she'd like pancakes for breakfast.  Her little face lit up and she started talking excitedly about pancakes.

When the waitress arrived at our booth, before she could even ask what we wanted, Babykins turned to her  and cried out, "Pancakes!"  The waitress laughed and wrote down her order.  Babykins saw this, realized she had just done something exciting, turned back to the waitress, and exclaimed, "Milk!"  The waitress wrote this down as well, asked Hubbykins and I what we wanted, and left to put in our order.

The ordering fun over, Babykins climbed down from her highchair and proceeded to make the rounds of the diner, saying, "Hi" to the other diners and making friends.

Just as she was getting ready to head back to our table, she looked up and found herself face to knee with the waitress.  Babykins seized the moment.  She drew a deep breath, pointed her little finger, and with an excited, "Pancakes, milk!  Pancakes, milk!" reminded the waitress of her order.

Needless to say, when the waitress arrived at our table a few minutes later, there was a plate of warm pancakes and a cup of cold milk especially for Babykins.  She had given an order and it had been followed to the letter.  Babykins was quite pleased.

Darn you, Technology!

Our monitor broke.  So I took the opportunity to buy a video monitor.

It is addictive.  I barely slept last night.  How am I supposed to go to bed when I can just lie there and watch Babykins sleep?

I used to scoff at the idea of a video monitor, but now I don't know how I survived the last 21 months without one.

Oh, evil, evil technology.

All Grown Up?

I've been very sad lately to notice that Babykins has started calling me "Mom."  I loved being Mama.  I was surprised when she began calling me "Mommy," but it was still very cute.  But the introduction of "Mom" has made me realize that my baby is growing up.

She's taken it one step farther with Daddykins, though.  We were at the zoo a couple days ago, and I wanted to get Hubbykins' attention to point out the baby giraffe.  I was holding Babykins, so her head was right next to my face when I called out, "Hubbykins!" (OK, I actually called his name, so if you happen to know his name, picture that.  If you don't know his name, feel free to make one up.)  He didn't hear me, so I called again, louder.  He still didn't hear, so I called one more time.

Seconds later, I hear Babykins pipe up in her high-pitched voice, calling him by name, as well.  It was cute, and, I assumed, it was a one time event.

Since then, though, whenever Babykins reallllly wants Hubbykins' attention, she looks at him hard, takes a deep breath, and calls his name.

Talk about all grown up.